Starburst Choozers

‘The chews that ooze’ are the latest Starburst product. They only came out a couple of weeks ago and so I figured with the ad campaign and everything, I should try and put up a review posthaste.

To be honest, as you’ll see below the advert doesn’t tempt me that much, the ‘ooze’ looks really thick and…just not that good. But eh, only one way to find out how these are. In fact, watching the advert again, it sounds like the guys at Starburst recorded someone making a mess of their toilet in the way we’re all familiar with, it’s quite disgusting really.

There are three flavours that I will review individually: Orange & Mango, Raspberry & Orange and Pineapple & Orange, so evidently orange is the flavour of the day.

Orange & Mango – Really nice flavour. The sweet itself is orange, with the liquid centre being mango flavoured, so orange is the main flavour with the mango coming through and then going. Very sweet, but really pleasant.

Raspberry & Orange – A much tamer flavour than the previous one. Raspberry is the base flavour here, and it’s not as strong as the orange flavour. Still very good though.

Pineapple & Orange – I’m not a fan of pineapple, and here it’s the base flavour. It’s a strong pineapple and tastes very true to normal pineapple. The orange doesn’t come through at all though which is a shame. Pineapple fans will like this.

I haven’t actually put up my other Starburst articles (a redux of the original Starburst, as well as the Strawberry Chews), but suffice it to say this is by far the best of the lot. The flavours are all good, real fruity flavours without relying too much on artificial sweeteners and flavours.

I thought these would be a bit gimmicky, but congratulations to Starburst, they’ve done a good job here. The pack has 162 calories, 0g Protein, 34.3g Carbohydrates and 2.5g Fat.

Hershey’s Mounds vs Dark Chocolate Bounty

Mounds is the American version of what we in Britain call a Bounty. Whilst the Mounds only comes in dark chocolate, the Bounty comes in both milk and dark chocolate, but considering the Mounds is dark chocolate, I thought it would be fair to compare it to the Dark Chocolate Bounty. Is there a big difference between the two brands? Let’s find out.

The packs are fairly similar, in a pure contrast between the Bounty Dark and the Mounds, they both use a dark red/white colour scheme, with coconuts of course being pictured on the front of the pack. Both packs also contain two small chocolates, both filled with coconut, but there is a difference in the coconut.

The coconut in the Mounds is almost…wet, it’s a little hard to describe, but it’s not as compact as as the Bounty, and it has a little more juice to it. I wouldn’t say it’s either better nor worse, it’s just different. The design of the chocolates are exactly the same, same size and even the same chocolate pattern on the top of each chocolate.

The tastes are fairly identical as well, the Mounds is a little sweeter I think, but again that makes it neither better nor worse, just different. The two products are nearly identical, in taste, appearance, and also their nutritional values.

The Mounds bar has 240 calories, 2g of Protein, 29g of Carbs (23g of which sugars), and 13g of Fat (10g of which sugars). The Bounty has about the same, it turns out I forgot to write down what the values are and have since thrown away the wrapper, but I’m sure it was similar. I’ll confirm it soon though if anyone wants.

Mars Bar

Before today I hadn’t had a Mars bar in say…at least one or two years. Like the Dairy Milk, they just seem so unremarkable, despite being one of the best sellers not only in the UK, but also in America under the title of ‘3 Musketeers’ ‘Milky Way’.

Why they’re called that in America, I don’t know, but no doubt they’d say the same about why we call it a Mars bar, so I won’t get into that debate. But basically, a Mars bar is mostly made up of fluffy nougat, with a layer of caramel above it, and coated in chocolate. It sounds good, and it is good, but that’s all there is to it really, and I usually look for more when it comes to chocolate.

It’s a nice bar, but there are better chocolates out there. I love Kinder Buenos, and the Peanut Butter Kit Kats and so forth, and whilst I like this, I never see it on the shelves and think about how much I want one, so this is a strange one. Still, I can’t fault it too much, because it does what it sets out to do, the nougat is fluffy, and the main three components are mixed well, not one is too overpowering.

I guess if these are on offer, which from what I can tell they usually are, then I’d suggest picking one up, but other than that I can’t understand why you’d want this over everything else a typical shop would offer. But if you do crave one, then rest assured it’s a decent enough bar and you shouldn’t be disappointed.

Mars Banana Milky Way

Another Australian product. This is a small Milky Way bar, with the whipped centre being banana flavoured, and covered in the ordinary milk chocolate. The pack is yellow to of course signify the banana flavour.

Opening the pack reveals a standard looking Milky Way, the criss-cross pattern on the top of the milk chocolate, and biting into it reveals that the whipped centre is yellow. It’s also disgusting.

Yes, this is no good at all. My British readers will know that Milky Ways centres are nice and soft, they yield easily and melt nicely in the mouth. This was a different story though. It was chewy, yes chewy, and didn’t melt at all. It almost broke off despite sitting in my cupboard at room temperature for a long time, and the banana flavour was also pretty horrid.

I’d say the banana flavour was in fact worse than the one used in certain Japanese products I’ve previously reviewed. The aftertaste was foul and the chocolate was not of a good quality. Stay far, far away from this.

Mint Slice Twix

When previously reviewing the ordinary Twix, I wondered why we hadn’t had other flavours and varieties in Britain, well, we still haven’t got any, but Australia has, this is the Mint Slice Twix.

It’s basically a dark chocolate Twix, with minty caramel, and then ordinary milk chocolate and the crunchy base that a Twix has. The sad thing is, I don’t really like dark chocolate, and I don’t really like mint flavoured chocolate either, as it’s usually not done too well.

And sadly, I don’t like this. The mint is far too strong and artificial tasting. If it was spearmint I may like it, but this is more like assmint, and it just isn’t nice. The dark chocolate is, unsurprisingly, not very dark either. So overall this is a complete disappointment.

The bar has 290 calories, 35.2g of Carbs, 15.2g of Fat and 2.5 of Protein. I didn’t even finish half of one of the sticks though, so no worries for me, and it shouldn’t be a worry for you either, because you shouldn’t eat this.

Mars Egg

Following on from the Galaxy Egg, is the Mars Egg. Like the Galaxy Egg it has no information about it whatsoever, but you don’t really need any anyway, because this is a literally a Mars bar, in egg form.

The egg looks the exact same as the Galaxy Egg, but mine didn’t come open as easily as the Galaxy Egg, I had to bite the top off, which is where I saw the difference, one half is the soft nougat that Mars Bars have, and the other is caramel. The chocolate is definitely Mars chocolate, you can tell the difference straight away. And Mars chocolate really isn’t as nice as Galaxy chocolate.

It’s not bad, but the nougat and caramel don’t go together as well as they do in the Mars bar, because they’re on opposite halfs, they don’t actually mix, so you get one half of all caramel, and then one half of all nougat, and the nougat isn’t that tasty.

So, with poorer chocolate, poorer design, and poorer overall taste, I can’t recommend the Mars Egg with the knowledge that there’s a Galaxy Egg on the market. Go for the Galaxy Egg.

Starburst Fruit Chews

Starburst are a sweet product that have (d)evolved over the years. I remember as a child the original Opal Fruits, then they became Starburst, and now Starburst Fruit Chews.

I’m sure these had to have about 5 or 6 different flavours in each pack, I was quite disappointed to find there were only 4 in the new Starbursts, these are Strawberry, Orange, Blackcurrant and Lemon & Lime.

Strawberry flavour was probably the least strawberry-like sweet that’s ever been marketed as strawberry before. It wasn’t a terrible taste, it was just incredibly artificial, and too sugary to be considered a decent strawberry sweet.

Orange was a little better, but still very sugary, and not completely like orange. Very disappointing so far.

Blackcurrant was the best so far. I’m not too fond of real blackcurrants, but as far as realism goes, this was the best so far.

And when it came to Lemon & Lime, they may as well just forget the lemon part. The wrapper was green, and the flavour was all lime.

Overall these are pretty poor. I don’t remember much of the Opal Fruits, but people speak of them favourably, especially compared to these, and I can see why. Far too artificial, these are obviously marketed at children, as anyone with refined taste buds would no doubt be disappointed by these.

Mars Delight

The Mars Delight seems to be an upmarket chocolate bar by Mars. I’m pretty sure it’s advertised towards women as well. For some reason whenever I think of Mars Delights, I imagine a group of women sitting in an office, eating these things whilst sipping on Diet Cokes and gossping about whatever things women gossip about.

On the individual packs, Mars don’t actually bother to describe what it is. Most confectioners will put a brief description of the bar on the packaging, in their attempt to lure customers in. In a change of pace, Mars instead show a small picture of the two small chocolates that are in this pack on the front of the wrapper.

I quite like the packaging as well to be fair to it. Nice off-white colour, the usual Mars emblem blends well with it. All very good. But does it taste nice?

I’ll tell you what it does taste like, and that’s sweet. So very sweet. It’s a very nice flavour once you get past the sugar, but they seem to have overdone that aspect of the bar a little. Underneath the chocolate layer is a sort of cream filling, and under that is a wafer, which has a strange consistency to it, but it is still good. Quite an unremarkable flavour, sadly. Too much bloody sugar. I only finished this bar a few minutes ago and already the flavour is all gone as well, I can’t taste it at all anymore!

Overall, a disappointment. The taste isn’t bad, the bar isn’t bad, it’s just unremarkable and it seems a little lost. It’s been around for about 2 years now though so this is its finalised flavour. If you’re a woman who works in an office, likes Diet Coke and gossiping then this’ll be perfect for you, I can’t imagine anyone else getting too excited about it though.

Peanut Butter M&M’s

I recently received a pack of Peanut Butter M&M’s, and since I got them I’ve been aching to review them. My curiosity got the better of me today and I ended up eating the entire pack, which should give away how I feel about these.

M&M’s are America’s answer to Smarties. Smarties come in a long tube, and only come in chocolate flavour, except for the orange Smartie which tastes like…well, orange. M&M’s come in packets and in a few different forms; chocolate, peanut, and ‘crispy’. I actually like M&M’s more than Smarties, I just think they taste better and they seem a bit more grown up than the kid-orientated Smarties.

I’ve heard great things about the Peanut Butter M&M’s, and as a fan of Peanut Butter infused chocolate, I decided to get a pack in. And I wasn’t disappointed. The boys down at the factory did well with these, the peanut butter isn’t too heavy, underneath the crispy shell and just between the peanut butter is a small, thin layer of chocolate, which compliments the peanut butter very well. It just offsets the saltiness of the peanut butter, neutralising the effect it might usually have.

Overall, these are delightful. If you’re dead set on importing chocolate from America and like peanut butter then these are a must. I’ve tried a lot of American chocolate over the years and this ranks up there right at the top. Good stuff.

Milk Chocolate Twix

Wow! Something other than an Aero! You are reading correctly, I’ve interrupted Aero time to review a Twix. I felt guilty about reviewing so many Aero’s, and thought that reviewing peppermint Aero after peppermint Aero Bubbles was a bit cheeky, so I’ve been long overdue to bash out a proper review. And so while I’m at my Nan’s I’ve got an opportunity to get some free chocolate, and I thought I’d go for the Twix.

Before today I hadn’t eaten a Twix in about 2 years, they’ve always seemed so unremarkable to me. They’re one of the top selling chocolates, in all the supermarkets and corner shops, yet there’s not much to them. A bit of biscuit, with some caramel on the top and covered in chocolate. It seems so basic, and I don’t think I’ve ever seen a limited edition Twix, except for the white chocolate variety. I’m not sure why they don’t unleash the limited edition Twixs, because I’m sure an orange flavour or a bit of peanut butter or something would vastly improve these.

As they are, I just don’t see how they sell. Maybe it’s because they’re on offer a lot, or they’re cheap, but there’s just not enough there for me. I felt a little bad about eating this, I was putting ~200 calories and those bad saturated fats into my temple of a body and wasn’t getting much pleasure from it, it didn’t seem worth it.

The packaging is unremarkable, the flavour is unremarkable, basically the whole experience is unremarkable. I’m glad I’ve got the review over. 2 years on and Twix still tastes the same. Very disappointing. If you like biscuits with chocolate then get yourself some Chocolate Digestives, much better. Back to Aeros tomorrow I think.